Whether you agree with the KonMari Method or not, there’s no doubt about it, Marie Kondo has revolutionized the way people declutter. Gone are the days of little-by-little, room-by-room, 15-minute decluttering sessions. I’m here to tell you {as a person who gets paid to help others declutter} the KonMari Method does not work. At least, not as well as we’ve been led to believe it does.
Thanks to Marie Kondo, and her two best-selling books, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and Spark Joy: An Illustrated Master Class on the Art of Organizing and Tidying Up, decluttering has become a marathon of sorts. One that should be completed swiftly and with decisiveness. This way, you’ll never have to deal with the clutter again.
Why the KonMari Does Not Work (for everyone)
In case you’ve never heard about the KonMari Method, allow me to explain. In a nutshell, the KonMari Method is a decluttering philosophy developed by Marie Kondo, a downright adorable, soft-spoken woman from Tokyo, Japan. Marie advocates decluttering by category instead of room-by-room, in the following order:
- clothes
- books
- papers
- komono (all other categories except sentimental)
- sentimental items
According to Marie Kondo, there are six basic rules for tidying (decluttering/organizing). You must:
- Commit yourself to tidying up.
- Imagine your ideal lifestyle.
- Finish discarding first.
- Tidy by category, instead of location.
- Follow the correct order (listed above).
- Decide what to keep and what to discard based on whether or not it “sparks joy”.
The entire KonMari decluttering method is laid out in greater detail in Marie Kondo’s best-selling book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up as well as its companion guide, Spark Joy: An Illustrated Master Class on the Art of Organizing and Tidying Up.
The KonMari Method. Does it live up to the hype?
Before I tell you precisely why the KonMari Method does not work, I feel the need for a disclaimer. I love the KonMari Method, I really do. In fact, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up is one of the few books I choose to own. I believe the follow-up guide, Spark Joy, is even better than the original. Truth be told, I have been using my version of the KonMari Method to declutter and organize for years now. Way before these two resources were even on the radar. If only I would have published a book…
My problem with the KonMari Method does not lie with the fact that Ms. Kondo prefers to declutter by category. After all, I do too. Nor is my problem with the order in which she recommends decluttering/organizing. {Although, perhaps “komono” should be first because it’s the easiest}. Marie’s six rules for tidying are clear and easy to follow. I can even overlook her kookie {to me} ideas on greeting your home and thanking your socks.
The KonMari Method, so what’s the problem, then?
Even though I love Marie Kondo and respect her methods to the point where I follow many of them, Marie makes one critical error in her thinking. Unfortunately, it’s not an error that can be overlooked. The problem surfaces in the introduction to Spark Joy. According to Marie,
“When you tidy the KonMari way, you will experience several changes. For one thing, when you have finished cleaning up once and for all, you will NEVER again relapse into clutter. Once you have experienced what your house feels like when it is completely tidy in the true sense of the term, you will NEVER want to return to the clutter, and the strength of that feeling will empower you to keep it tidy.”~Marie Kondo, Spark Joy
Y’all, I live in the REAL world…
And I know from experience, that the decluttering process is just that…a process. It’s not a “one and done” event. First of all, decluttering your entire house takes time. As such, Marie’s idea that you should be able to declutter your home “all in one go” is seriously flawed. I am a minimalist, and it took me years to get where I am today as far as the clutter in my home is concerned. What’s more, I’ve never actually “finished” the race. Nope, I’m still running.
Why? Because clutter has a way of creeping back into your life. Especially if you have kids.
Part of Marie Kondo’s allure is that she claims she’s never had a client “relapse”. According to Marie:
“Anyone who learns to tidy properly should never rebound.”~Marie Kondo
I’m not calling Marie a liar. As I said before, I have great respect for the woman. Maybe this statement is true…for her JAPANESE clients. After all, she lives in a country 1/20 the size of America, with a population 5 times the size of ours. {Speaking as an American here}. The Japanese people simply don’t have room for clutter! When a Japanese person makes a purchase, they must think long and hard about where they will put it. It’s natural for them to adopt a “one in, one out” philosophy when it comes to their stuff. They discover pretty quickly that, unless they want to live like a hoarder, they must work daily to keep clutter at bay.
The Japanese culture is inherently different from the American experience.
For example, the majority of people living in Japan do not have a dedicated living room, dining room, and bedroom. They have one or two main rooms where they eat, sleep, and entertain. Tiny kitchens are the norm in Japan. You would be hard-pressed to find a home with two bathrooms. Oh, and they don’t tend to overload their children with “stuff” {as we do here in America}, so there’s no need for separate kid’s bedrooms and dedicated play spaces. Homes in Japan also lack garages…and yards for that matter. And off-site storage units? Forget about it!
Check out these super-small apartments in Japan:
The KonMari Method may set you up for failure
While the KonMari Method gets a lot of things right. It falls short in a couple critical areas. By telling you that {if done correctly}, you will not only be able to declutter your entire home fairly quickly but that, once you are “finished” you will NEVER need to declutter again, Marie Kondo is setting you up for failure.
As I said before, decluttering is a process. One that may take you YEARS to complete. Additionally, there’s no one “right” way to do it. You will need to know your own personality and limitations in order to decide which decluttering method works for you. Most importantly, you may find that once you’ve decluttered clothes, books, papers, and “komono”, you become paralyzed when it comes to sentimental items. This is perfectly normal.
You may also discover that once you finish decluttering all of the recommended categories, more clutter has managed to find its way into your home and you need to start all over again. This too is perfectly normal.
You see…
While you are immersed in the decluttering process, your friends and family members will give you {and your children} gifts. You will continue to bring home freebies from work, conventions, and hotels. Your children will NEVER stop bringing home papers and crafts from school and church. Clothes and shoes will wear out and will need to be replaced. Holidays will come and go. Moments of weakness will occur and shopping bags full of goodies will magically find their way into your home. {You get the picture}.
Please, declutter with caution
I say all of this not to discourage you from decluttering. After all, I’ve seen firsthand the lasting benefits a decluttered life can bring. More time with your family and friends, fewer lost items, more room to “breathe”.
I simply want you to know that decluttering takes time, is an ongoing process, and that there is no “one size fits all” way to do it.
I want to help you avoid declutter overwhelm and discouragement. Know that there will inevitably be detours and road bumps along the way. And please, no matter which decluttering method you decide to use, whatever you do, don’t give up!
READ MORE:
- 10 Questions To Ask When Decluttering That Aren’t “Does it spark joy?”
- You Might Be A Hoarder If…20 Symptoms Of Compulsive Hoarding
- How To Declutter Fast With The Shock Treatment Declutter Method
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I struggled my entire life with clutter because I never learned to declutter properly. After reading her book early January, I followed her method and it truly changed my life for good! I’ve never been so organized for such a long stretch and I truly believe I will not relapse because her book taught me to see material possessions differently.
As you mentioned, you used a modified Konmarie method, your title should really read “why my modified konmarie method does not work”. Konmarie made such a huge impact in my life that I hope you don’t mislead those people who can benefit from it.
I love how you put that! And I agree with you 100%
My family and I recently lost everything and now I appreciate every single thing that walks in my door lol. Thankfully I just found this method and so I get the opportunity to start fresh and be thankful and mindful of what makes it into my home.
I think what really drew me into her method is to be grateful for the things you keep in your home and whether they bring you joy. I’m even having my kids learn this with their things. Such a great thing to teach young children, appreciation for what you get to have. And it sparks appreciation for life as well. Anyways just wanted to share lol
Here are some key explanations (straight from the book) that may help you understand the KonMari method
1. All in one go: decluttering should be completed in no more than 6 months
2. Treating her objects as people: this is her way reminding herself to give her objects with the same care and respect that she would with a person. Thus, she appreciates what she has, her belongings maintain in great shape for a long time, and she is satisfied with the object enough not to buy more and more of the same type of item.
3. Never relapsing: The KonMari method is all about changing your mindset. She is correct… if you fully take on this mindset, you will not relapse. If you never truly accepted the KonMari Method to begin with, then you never really relapsed, did you?
4. Never needing to declutter again: Once you get your home in order, you obviously must maintain it. She expresses multiple times in her book that she takes the time each day to tidy… she never said this wouldn’t be a continual process. So, while you should never need to do the whole 6 month total tidy up, you will have to do small day-to-day upkeep. This is why the “moments of weakness” you describe are not the mark of a failed KonMari method… they are expected to happen. You get a gift and decide if it sparks joy. If it does, find a place for it and make sure it always returns to its place. If it has served its purpose as a gift/gesture of love and no longer serves any purpose, you may release it.
4. Japanese clients don’t relapse, but US ones probably do: I found it odd that you used the argument that her Japanese clients must only be the ones who never relapse. Her client data suggests otherwise, and she puts this in her book. PS. Your argument about how the Japanese don’t overload their kids with stuff, well… I think that brings us back to her whole point… change our mindsets and don’t overload our children with stuff 🙂
To Marie, decluttering/tidying is about keeping the objects that spark joy. If you go through your whole closet and you get rid of the only 10 items that don’t spark joy, then congratulations, you have done well. If your client would rather give her arm than her favorite pair of shoes, then she should keep the shoes! I think you have decided that decluttering to Marie means get rid of everything, and to that, I say, reread the book and/or watch her show with more of an understanding and open mind.
While I do not follow KonMari, I truly understand the method. You should too before making an article about why it “does not work.”
You see, that’s the problem: you used your modified version of the method. Therefore, the method didn’t work, because your modifications were wrong.
It appears you haven’t actually read the book. “All in one go” means as a chunk of contiguous time, not literally in one day. She says in her books that most clients of hers take an average of 6 months to complete KonMari. Some, presumably, take much longer. Some take less.
Also, crap “creeping into your life” is a choice. No one’s holding a gun to your head and making you buy stuff you have no use for, or don’t need. No one is holding a gun to your head and making you keep freebies, or gifts you don’t like. And if your old shoes are worn out and you buy new ones… why do you still have the old ones? Kondo explains how to deal with these items in her books. When you develop the habit of dealing with everything as it comes to you, not 5 years later, the need to re-do your declutter disappears, because things you don’t need, want, or use don’t stay for more than a week in the first place.
And this creep is also partly caused by not being properly organized which leads you to buying redundant things you already have but can’t find, and this can be an issue even for minimalists if their space isn’t well-organized and things don’t have a home (trust me, I’ve always been a minimalist and I had this issue until I tried this method and realized it’s not enough to just “not have too much,” you have to know where it goes too).
Kondo’s had overseas clients for years and years, and it is not remotely limited by her culture. I think the disconnect here is that what KonMari describes is an entire way of dealing with the home and stuff, while minimalism is just a singular aspect that doesn’t necessarily give direction with how to deal with other problems we tend to have with our homes: compulsive shopping, disorganization, or just living in homes that are ridiculously oversized compared to our needs and capabilities and make maintaining things 10 times harder than it needs to be. KonMari is not just developing the ability to purge crap. Again, this is something she explicitly talks about.
And it certainly doesn’t escape my attention, in the years I’ve been following minimalism, that it’s actually a very materialistic trend. Weirdly, people are always buying more stuff in the attempt to find the perfect “minimalist” aesthetic. For some reason it never occurs to anyone to just… figure out what they’re trying to get out of their home, and then re-format it to fit that purpose, rather than just constantly purging and shopping. Or maybe that was never the point. Maybe it really is just aesthetics. The irony of how bougie “minimalism” has gotten is palpable.
You’re missing the most important part of it, if your contention is that KonMari is “unrealistic,” and that is this: you have to change your relationship to stuff, not just “have less stuff.”
I just finished the audio version of her first book and I’m intrigued and looking for holes in the method. Your critiques seem to imply that you haven’t read the books or skimmed them or read them a while ago… but this was still helpful, so thanks!
Wrong, and she’s quite clear about why to start with clothes.
It’s *because* people have an attachment to clothes, but not to the same degree as sentimental items and for different reasons than, say, the blender.
The point is to use clothing that you love as a way to learn what “spark joy” means to you because it’s often easy for clothes to spark joy and to recognize that feeling.
If one would rather remove an appendage than part with a piece of clothing, clearly it’s a keeper. Now, measure everything else against the joy of that treasured item.
When talking about the Japanese “one in one out” , you have a repeat paragraph. (Just a heads up!)
And I found your article interesting. I think that not everyone believes that the KonMari method is an end all thing but it’s the process itself that seems to be done strategically. I know for me if I do all of my clothes first, the satisfaction of cutting back motivates me to do more beyond that. Although I do understand that it doesn’t work for everyone! To me there’s no right order of what you organize. It’s ultimately based on what the person feels makes the most sense for them.
When I first heard about KonMari it seemed like it was all about minimalism but it’s definitely not lol Good read!
I unfortunately have to disagree with your view. I never took the KM method as one that had to be completed all in one go. I think focusing on one category and finishing that to completion before moving on to the next is the real intention. As for the order, if clothing is difficult (or paper or whatever) you can move that to a sentimental sub-category and work on it once you’ve gotten used to the idea of letting go of your things. I agree that this can absolutely take years to complete.
The point of the KM method is to change the way your mind thinks. It changes your attachment to stuff, it changes how you feel in your home, and most importantly it changes how you live your life.
If people are giving you gifts, you have the right to refuse them or to ask people to give you consumables, or gift cards for things you need like groceries, gas, shoe store for that new pair of shoes you need to replace the ones that are falling apart, or even a spa day. With regards to things children bring home from school, you are meant to deal with those right away so they don’t create clutter. Once you finish a category, the point is that when new things in that category come into your home you know how to deal with them properly and where they belong. You also have the choice to think “long and hard” before buying something new. Many minimalists and low income families do just that.
I do agree that you have to find a method that works for you and sometimes that can combine multiple methods. I use KM but I also do Project 333, have taken the Uncluttered course offered by Joshua Becker and have done the No Sidebar course, and I frequently do no-spend months. I combine all of these to achieve my goals of a minimal home and lifestyle.
One last thing about the KM way of thanking your possessions, this is about gratitude. Being grateful for your blessings and limited possessions creates happiness in your life as well as a sense of abundance. This is a practice that can benefit everyone. I may not thank my can opener every time I use it, but I am grateful to have it because it makes my life easier. Many people are not actively practicing gratitude in their lives and that is why they are never satisfied with what they have. All in all, I think this is a good review of the KM method.
She actually mentions somewhere in chapter 2 that “all in one go” is about 6 months or so. I was quite skeptical about this too until I’ve read up to that point.
I am curious as to why Kon mari method wants to do clothing first? I fluctuate in sizes and therefore have lots of clothing. Too many really. But, to me, decluttering should start with the things other people see when they come to visit. Living Room, bathroom, halls, junk drawers, garage, etc. Why do some organizers want clothing first?
I can’t even imagine trying to stay organized with 7 KIDS! Sounds like you had your work cut out for you.:) I tend to always adjust any methods/advice to suit my own circumstances, so I have had good luck with the Kon-Mari method. I just want people not to get too excited by thinking decluttering is a “one-and-done” thing. As many of us know, it is a life-long process.
Im 62,,mother of 7. Would have benefited back in the day,,,but who knows..might not even have used it. ..however, maybe it is just me,,,but her methods leave room for the ‘learning curve’. At least that’s how I interpreted it. I didn’t really feel she meant that once and for all, you would never experience clutter, again. ..I took that as,,,once you adopt the method, and continue with it,,refine, define it ( for your lifestyle and space), it improves and you begin to ‘work it’. ..Just my thoughts on it. I didn’t talk to my things, either…that may be a cultural thought, I don’t know. Not adopting something to the nth degree, doesn’t mean the method doesn’t work. ..just my opinion:) I would loved to have had the opportunity to try it with my 7 kids. ..cuz I was a hot mess.
Lauren,
Glad you enjoyed it. Honestly, (while I love the aesthetic) Marie’s clothes-folding method is one of the few things I DO NOT do 🙂 With 3 boys who do not own very many clothes, I don’t even bother folding them. Most of their stuff gets hung up or put inside storage cubes.
puts, not outs
Found this article via the powers of Pinterest, while researching the KonMari method. I agree with everything you said. I love the way she folds clothes and outs them away, it seriously was a game changer for me (4 children, all girls, lots of clothes). That was about it. Thank you for your honest review of the book.
Rhonda,
Absolutely! It can be hard to resist the temptation to buy when it seems like ‘everyone else is doing it’!
I do agree! Decluttering is a continual process. Our friends and families give us more stuff. Commercialism tempts us to bring more items into our homes. Our cultural upbringing can have a big influence on our perception that “having more is better.”
For so many years I believed that false ideology until one day I realized I could not longer appreciate and enjoy the things I had because I was having a difficult time remembering what all I had and where I ended up storing it. lol I’ve been working at decluttering for a couple of years now and still have a long ways to go.