There’s a hot new trend sweeping the nation. No, I’m not talking about ‘unicorn food’. It’s called ‘death cleaning’, and it’s way less gloomy than it sounds. So, what is death cleaning and {more importantly} when should you start?
What is Death Cleaning?
Death cleaning is a Swedish decluttering concept {called döstädning}, made popular by Margareta Magnusson, a sweet little Swedish woman who is between the ages of 80-100. Because, hey, a true lady never reveals her age. In a recent interview {which you can watch below}, Margareta tells the interviewer {who is presumably her daughter} that,
Generally, people have too many things in their homes.
And, more poignantly,
One day, when you’re not around anymore, your family will have to take care of your stuff. I don’t think that’s fair, really.
Amen sister!
Margareta has written a book called The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning: How to Free Yourself and Your Family From a Lifetime of Clutter, which details her journey of clearing out her parents, in-laws, and husband’s belongings after they passed away. After experiencing the overwhelm caused by the stuff they left behind, she decided to begin clearing out her own possessions while she was still living, so as not to be a burden on her five children when she is gone.
Related: Letting Go of Other People’s Stuff: How to Declutter Family Heirlooms
What Death Cleaning is NOT
Death cleaning is similar to Marie Kondo’s Life-Changing Magic of Cleaning Up, yet also, quite different. While Marie Kondo recommends keeping items that ‘spark joy’ and donating or trashing the rest, Margareta’s approach to clearing a lifetime of clutter focuses more on communicating with your loved ones and passing on your treasures to them while you’re still alive. This accomplishes two things:
- You free up more space in your home so you can enjoy while you are still living in it.
- You solve the issue of loved ones battling over your estate after you pass away.
However, there’s one glaring problem I see with this approach to decluttering. What if your children/loved ones don’t want your stuff? Having not read the book yet, I don’t know how Margareta deals with this issue, but I will be sure to let you know when I find out.
What is Death Cleaning, and When Should You Start?
Even though Margareta is somewhere between the ages of 80-100, she says she’s been ‘death cleaning’ for years. Margareta recommends you begin the death cleaning process as soon as you start thinking about your own mortality, which will, of course, depend on the person. The truth is, you may have realized your mortality a long time ago, in which case, you will need to start the death cleaning process sooner rather than later.
In fact, during the interview, Margareta’s daughter asks her for her help in getting her own death cleaning started. Margareta agrees and the two of them head down to the storage area of their apartment complex. First, Margareta shows her storage locker which contains…a bike. Then, her daughter opens up her own storage unit, unveiling a mass of clutter. Margareta’s reaction is hilarious and authentic. She says,
Oh my god! What are you going to do with all of this crap?
Clearly, her daughter has her work cut out for her!
Related Post: How to Tell Your Parents You Don’t Want Their Stuff
What is Death Cleaning? My Experience with Death Cleaning
My aunt {who is in her early 60’s} began the process of death cleaning soon after my uncle died {at the age of 54}. Since his death, it has fallen on my aunt to settle the estates {aka ‘clear the clutter’} of her two sisters as well as her mother. Having to deal with the belongings of her deceased family members in such rapid succession has taken its toll on my sweet aunt. Consequently, she’s decided that she doesn’t want her stuff to be a burden on the remaining family members when she’s gone.
I, on the other hand, began my death cleaning a little earlier in life. I am currently 43, and I have already been death cleaning for over a decade. My reasons for decluttering are similar to my aunts in that I don’t want my sons to be faced with mountains of stuff when I am gone. It really wouldn’t be fair to them. Mainly, though, I’ve seen firsthand how ugly people get when someone passes away and they rush to ‘lay claim’ to that person’s belongings. Which is why I’ve often said that when I die, I won’t be leaving anything behind for people to fight over.
What is Death Cleaning? The Benefits of Death Cleaning
The biggest benefit of death cleaning is that it opens up the lines of communication between people about death, dying, and all of the {literal} stuff that comes with it. The fact is, we are all going to die. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but certainly one day. It’s important that we communicate our final wishes to others before we die so they are not left wondering what our true intentions are.
Another advantage of death cleaning is that by decluttering, you will free up space in your home which will cause you to enjoy it more. Also, studies have shown that owning too much stuff leads to stress, so the act of decluttering may actually add a few more years to your life.
Finally, you’ll benefit from seeing your loved ones actually use and enjoy your possessions while you are still alive. My aunt recently told me how happy it made her to see the family Christmas decorations displayed proudly in her own daughter’s home. It delighted her to see the joy the items were able to bring to others.
What is Death Cleaning? And is it worth it?
Swedish death cleaning allows a person to focus on what’s really important in life…people. To ‘win’ at life is not to die with the most stuff, but to give it all away while you are still living. So, if you know someone who will benefit from an item that is just taking up space in your home, go ahead and give it to them. Then sit back and revel in their joy and your newly decluttered home.
Check out the interview with Margareta Magnusson below!
READ MORE:
- How To Tell Your Parents You Don’t Want Their Stuff
- Letting Go Of Other People’s Stuff: How To Declutter Family Heirlooms
- 10 Decluttering Questions That Aren’t “Does it spark joy?”
- How To Declutter After Someone Passes Away
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» How To Tell Your Parents You Don't Want Their Stuff
They should be grateful to have my collections ! LOL. I have a side hustle and it takes up a lot of room. I also collect china and glass.It hurts me to think my only child has no interest in my things. I was thinking about contacting a company that sells businesses. Someone could start their own business or antique shop. Recently, I had a leak and had to move everything. I sort by categories and seasons and label the boxes. At least I am packin it up.
Some years back, I was standing near a mother with two older teenagers in GoodWll. She said “When I die, I do not care if you burn my stuff, do not donate to GoodWill. I do not want people sorting thru my stuff”. I hear you. Me neither.
I love this idea! My father passed away in 2021 and my mother followed him him almost to the day in 2022. In between their deaths I faced my own mortality with a diagnosis of breast cancer. I say all that to show I know how overwhelming it can be to clean out a loved ones belongings, especially if one of them believed you should save EVERYTHING! (Cue hoarder house visions) So here I am a year and a half later still trying to declutter. As an only child it is all on me, which means it’s a little overwhelming. I want to prevent my son from going through this. And while I don’t have siblings, I do have a large, very close extended family and the thought of them enjoying things that remind them of my parents brings me joy. So one room or corner at at time. I’m doing this.
I love this idea and agree with it. However, my mother, who is in desperate need of decluttering would be alarmed and saddened by the term “death cleaning.” It’s my wish that she would go about giving away some valuables while still living. (She is 78 and demonstrating some signs of dementia), she holds to an idea of us (the remaining living family) going through all her possessions after she passes. Any ideas or suggestions for presenting this with a different term?
I didn’t realise I’d been doing this for the past few years but it now makes sense.
I didnt want to burden our kids with having to dispose of “stuff” . So once they both left home I gave anything that was theirs including toys in the loft back to them to make a decision on what to keep. Clothes are down to a small 2 wardrobes and 2 chest of drawers for myself and husband. Only buy new when needed. Ornaments/bric-à-brac unless really sentimental and handed down through family given away to charity. Kitchen crockery,pots,pans, cutlery, bed linen kept to a minimum rest given to kids or charity. Tackling the huge amount of photos was daunting but then sorted into family history , kids, holidays etc binned the irrelevant ones. Once you start “death cleaning” it really keeps you on top of things and simplifies life on the whole.
Cleaning out is good, but there will still be stuff. I have told my children the things I would like them to take care of ( approximately 10), the rest I told them sell, donate , whatever they decide. I do not live in those things and giving them permission while you’re alive hopefully will stop any guilt they may feel about not wanting it.
Time to start? About 50 years before I was born judging by my current collection and still a few decades to go yet
Great to hear Alex, thanks for letting me know!
I am so glad I found this article! My grandpa passed away a few years ago and my family has been trying to get my grandma to do something similar for years. I never realized how much stuff people can accumulate when living in the same house for decades. I showed her your blog post and we were finally able to convince her to start cleaning out her house and get rid of things that she didn’t need. Believe it or not, we ended up renting a dumpster and filling it to the brim after we set aside multiple bagfuls of things to donate. We still have a long way to go, but her house has looked better than it has in years! Thank you so much for sharing this!
Hi Sheila, have you read this article for packrats?
How do you death clean when you’re not ready to give things up not a hoarder but maybe a packrat You know you should